We would all like to think that we have full control of our own emotions but the reality is that most of the time we don't. Our circumstances generally control our emotions, arguments with our significant other, or a friend, can cause us to feel angry, or sad, or lonely, or frustrated. Deadlines at work can cause us to feel stressed, fearful, and emotionally exhausted. When we let our emotions be dictated by the environment and the people around us, we are technically handing over control. This makes absolutely no sense, but yet, we do it all the same!
It is normal to feel both positive and negative emotions such as fear, excitement, anger, happiness and sadness, but it is how we deal with those emotions that is important. Holding on to emotions and judging ourselves, solely based on an emotion brought on by someone else, can be very harmful. When another person tells you that you are worthless, this has no power unless you buy into it. As soon as you start doubting yourself and judging yourself, then your power is gone. You have handed it over and allowed yourself to be emotionally affected by someone else's opinion. Believe me when I say, I know how this works!
Observing your emotions and accepting them is the first step, but we have to go a step further and "let them go". You must learn to feel the emotion but not hang onto it, then you will begin making progress in controlling your own emotions. Mindfulness helps us with this awareness as we are more present in the moment when we are being mindful. Us humans are very habitual and once we start to react a certain way we just keep doing it, whether it is serving us or not. In order to gain emotional intelligence it is important that we develop new, healthier habits. You are the only one that can be responsible for your emotional wellness, so you make the choice!